Dear Intrepid and Enterprising App Store Developers,
Last night some hackers found the application that I had sabotaged. They DDOS'd my site and took me off the Internet. I'm writing this to you from an Internet Cafe so that you all know that your pal iPhoneCrackDetector, me, Perseus, is still alive and well.
Unfortunately my application Woman Calendar was discovered containing crack countermeasures. It would phone home and silently move your last ovulation day a few days off so any female teenager pirates would get a rude awakening at school while writing a test.
Little did I know that one of my teenage daughters has a jailbroken iPod touch. My code hit a little close to the heart and let's just say she came home yesterday with her jacket tied around her waist. She did not hestitate and ratted me out to her cracker friends. This happened precisely 28 days after the first version of my application showed up on the cracker sites.
I should have seen this coming.
I am an awful father.