Friday, November 7, 2008

Gabe Jacobs. You are Stupid.

I found this hilarious posting on one of the cracker forums this morning by one Gabe Jacobs. Take a read my dear readers:
Hey guys, I haven't posted much here, since I have been working on development a lot more.

I have developed a few apps, one of which was just cracked!

I'm not complaining, I am actually kind of happy. This obviously means that someone wanted it and would go through the hassle of cracking it. I understand that there is no stopping cracking and there is nothing you can do about it. Hell, I have like 20 cracked apps on my iPhone, but this was way before I started developing.

I just thought it would be funny for you guys to know that you've cracked a fellow cracker's app :)

Download all you want, but if for some odd reason you want to buy it.... be my guest :)

- Gabe

Now let me be the first to say that crackers are a clever breed. Obviously this is a gross generalization or stereotype as it appears Mr. Jacobs isn't that smart after all.

Let's see why:

Mr. Jacobs' application, Take A Chill Pill, is available on the App Store. You can see for yourself with a bit of searching. It's listed for sale at $0.99 by a seller named John Jacobs.

Now I notice that John is not the name of Gabe. There could be a few reasons:
  1. Gabe is not of the age of majority, but a relation named John is. John is Gabe's father, brother, uncle, or cousin?
  2. Gabe is John's pen name, which is unlikely.
  3. Gabe is not the programmer. John is. Gabe just knows John.
Since Gabe claims to be the programmer, this invalidates point 3. I'll give Gabe the benefit of the doubt and invalidate point 2. This leaves point 1 which I really wanted to expound upon anyway.

Gabe probably comes from a well-to-do family. He's a teenager. Girls probably think he's weird on account of his poor eyesight and hairy palms. I don't blame them. Gabe is not someone you want to mix your DNA with.

Why?

Gabe freely admits to infringing on other people's copyright. I am pretty sure this is a crime. Ever see those YouTube videos of kids videotaping themselves speeding in their cars at 200km/h? Well the police watch those videos, rate it 5 stars and then arrest your ass. This is exactly what Gabe is doing.

Not only has Gabe marginalized his own time, he has marginalized his own revenue. Why bother trying to sell an application in the first place? If you type "Gabe Jacobs" into Google, you'll find his personal blog and professional web page where he hosts information about his iPhone development.

Those domain names are cheap but they still cost money. Apple's iPhone Developer program is $99/year and they take 30% of your application revenue. Margins are thin on the App Store so every penny counts.

With any luck Gabe Jacobs has a silver spoon in his mouth and a golden parachute to save him in dire straites.

The weirdest part is that Gabe ends his post with, "if for some odd reason you want to buy it.." which suggests that Gabe doesn't have much faith in the quality of his applications. Or, more likely, he suspects more people would rather pirate his application than buy it. Gabe, why put your (presumably low quality) applications on the App Store to begin with?

Gabe's fallacy is he thinks that if he can't beat the crackers then he might as well join them. He has no problem selling you his application and taking your money. Just be aware he'll turn around and steal your shit right from under your nose.

Now I admire Gabe (just a little bit) when he encourages the crackers and pirates to download his software. Unfortunately I don't think he's using any of my strategies -- he doesn't know how much potential revenue he's losing to piracy. He doesn't know if he's wasting his time or his money investing in App Store development and his domains.

Smarten up Gabe Jacobs. I hope John Jacobs smacks you upside your stupid head.

I encourage every one else to not purchase Gabe Jacobs' applications from the App Store.

Download them for free.

He doesn't care.

11 comments:

mk321024 said...

DUDE TELL US WHAT YOU HAVE DEVELOPED WORTH SPEAKING ABOUT OTHER THAT SHIT IN THE TOILET OR HERPIES. do or did your parents not show you any attention?? do they or did they beat you and tell you that your worthless?? it really seems to be that way otherwise you wouldn’t be on your computer starting shit with strangers from miles away like most cowards that don’t want to get hurt do. i bet you’re the type of guy who would block his number to call and confront the guy that is banging your wife because your afraid he’ll call you back or want to meet and beat you like your parents do . tell me is that your problem or is it that you just cant get laid so you spend your time on here being a little bitch over the internet .look, if you want to be a computer tough guy be a man and do it with someone in your home town.so they can do something with you other then bicker. because in my honest opinion i think that computer tough guys pack more pussy then a college cheer leading team. have a nice day and don’t break a fingernail with your keyboard i hate to see women with ugly nails. fat ass earkle looking bitch

iPhoneCrackDetector said...

Dear mk321024,

Gabe Jacobs, is that you?

I really hope you weren't offended by my posting.

Seriously, why only now do you choose an alias and not your real name?

Did John Jacobs smack some sense into you?

Do tell!

mk321024 said...

no im not and you will never know either but i bet you wouldn't talk shit to my face bet that fat fucker

Rycon Payne said...

I have just found your site today, and I have to say, this is some serious nerd rage over a post that isn't even very long. I mean, a really impressive amount of nerd rage.

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Gabe said...

Hi,

Yes this is Gabe. I am asking you nicely to please remove my name from this post. It is not that I disagree with what you are saying, its that It severely damages my look. And I know that you were trying to make an example of me, but is that really what you are out to do. Are you out to ruin one person's life? Or are you out to make a point about how people in the iPhone cracking community are stupid. Yes, I think this is what you are trying to do. And i agree, they are stupid. I was stupid. I was one of those kids who didn’t really know what he was talking about. However, I have changed, and do not even make or download iPhone apps anymore. But the point is, I would appreciate if you took my name off this post. If you were to just say "A person" on this forum wrote this, your point would not be changed. People would read it and still believe that "this person" is stupid. However, to mention my real name and post an article making fun of a person you don't even know is really really really not called for. You are not trying to ruin someone's life are you? I did nothing to harm you in any way and I do not think I deserve to be publicly ridiculed. Maybe privately, but not publicly, using my real name.

So please, be a nice person and remove my name from this post.

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