Gabe Jacobs. You are Stupid.

I found this hilarious posting on one of the cracker forums this morning by one Gabe Jacobs. Take a read my dear readers:

Hey guys, I haven't posted much here, since I have been working on development a lot more.

I have developed a few apps, one of which was just cracked!

I'm not complaining, I am actually kind of happy. This obviously means that someone wanted it and would go through the hassle of cracking it. I understand that there is no stopping cracking and there is nothing you can do about it. Hell, I have like 20 cracked apps on my iPhone, but this was way before I started developing.

I just thought it would be funny for you guys to know that you've cracked a fellow cracker's app :)

Download all you want, but if for some odd reason you want to buy it.... be my guest :)

- Gabe

Now let me be the first to say that crackers are a clever breed. Obviously this is a gross generalization or stereotype as it appears Mr. Jacobs isn't that smart after all.

Let's see why:

Mr. Jacobs' application, Take A Chill Pill, is available on the App Store. You can see for yourself with a bit of searching. It's listed for sale at $0.99 by a seller named John Jacobs.

Now I notice that John is not the name of Gabe. There could be a few reasons:

1. Gabe is not of the age of majority, but a relation named John is. John is Gabe's father, brother, uncle, or cousin?
2. Gabe is John's pen name, which is unlikely.
3. Gabe is not the programmer. John is. Gabe just knows John.
   

Since Gabe claims to be the programmer, this invalidates point 3. I'll give Gabe the benefit of the doubt and invalidate point 2. This leaves point 1 which I really wanted to expound upon anyway.

Gabe probably comes from a well-to-do family. He's a teenager. Girls probably think he's weird on account of his poor eyesight and hairy palms. I don't blame them. Gabe is not someone you want to mix your DNA with.

Why?

Gabe freely admits to infringing on other people's copyright. I am pretty sure this is a crime. Ever see those YouTube videos of kids videotaping themselves speeding in their cars at 200km/h? Well the police watch those videos, rate it 5 stars and then arrest your ass. This is exactly what Gabe is doing.

Not only has Gabe marginalized his own time, he has marginalized his own revenue. Why bother trying to sell an application in the first place? If you type "Gabe Jacobs" into Google, you'll find his personal blog and professional web page where he hosts information about his iPhone development.

Those domain names are cheap but they still cost money. Apple's iPhone Developer program is $99/year and they take 30% of your application revenue. Margins are thin on the App Store so every penny counts.

With any luck Gabe Jacobs has a silver spoon in his mouth and a golden parachute to save him in dire straites.

The weirdest part is that Gabe ends his post with, "if for some odd reason you want to buy it.." which suggests that Gabe doesn't have much faith in the quality of his applications. Or, more likely, he suspects more people would rather pirate his application than buy it. Gabe, why put your (presumably low quality) applications on the App Store to begin with?

Gabe's fallacy is he thinks that if he can't beat the crackers then he might as well join them. He has no problem selling you his application and taking your money. Just be aware he'll turn around and steal your shit right from under your nose.

Now I admire Gabe (just a little bit) when he encourages the crackers and pirates to download his software. Unfortunately I don't think he's using any of my strategies -- he doesn't know how much potential revenue he's losing to piracy. He doesn't know if he's wasting his time or his money investing in App Store development and his domains.

Smarten up Gabe Jacobs. I hope John Jacobs smacks you upside your stupid head.

I encourage every one else to not purchase Gabe Jacobs' applications from the App Store.

Download them for free.

He doesn't care.